THE MOTHERHOOD PRACTICE
You'll know if this workshop is for you if any of these sound familiar...
You struggle to hold the line with your kids and you often feel confused about whether you are “getting this motherhood thing right”.
You try so hard to cultivate connection with your kids but you somehow feel disrespected and disempowered in relationship with them.
When your kid has big feelings, you notice your nervous system get activated and you start to doubt yourself and may even shrink into “I don’t know what to do”.
When your kids say mean words to you, you drown into shame, considering whether you may be the worst mom in the world.
You tend to feel powerless and small in relationship and wonder why you are the only one who works so hard to keep the peace around here.
By joining The Fierce Mother, you'll walk away knowing:
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Why chasing PEACE is the very thing keeping you from experiencing peace.
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The fear & the “what ifs” that get in the way of saying no & the shame that collapses the no into a “fine” or “yes” that later leads to resentment and powerlessness.
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The Fawning Mother’s tendencies and how to take steps towards embodying The Fierce Mother
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How and why learning to say no will rebalance power inside of relationships.
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How to say no and not spiral after, in a way that your kids will believe it and that will still honor your dedication to being compassionate and loving.
You'll leave ready to experiment with a fierce no: say it once, root into ‘I've got this,’ and stay with your child's big feelings without moving the line.
The Fierce Mother is for compassionate mothers who are already strong in their ability to see the best in others, who are gracious with and understanding of their kids and family, and are great at keeping the peace alive inside of their homes. At just one small cost: themselves.
And here's a hard truth, mama: it's not benefitting anyone.
What you want, more than anything, is to finally rest in knowing that you are a great mother and your kids are thriving and growing into healthy and wonderful humans. You wish motherhood were easier. You wish your kids would listen and respect what you say. You wonder how other kids you see around seem to listen and respect their moms. You quietly wonder:
“What’s wrong with me that I can’t do that?"
Your kids know just how to push you to the place where you crack. They reflect back words like “you’re the worst” or “you’re being mean” and it pushes to your deepest fear - to be the villain of someone’s story. You are trying so hard to get it right. How can they not see it?
Underneath all of this is one quiet belief: “I don’t trust myself”.
A belief that’s been quietly strengthened over the years of your life. When we don’t trust ourselves as mothers, we give our authority and responsibility away to our kids. When we don’t trust ourselves, our kids can’t trust us. When our NO turns into “fine” again and again, we subtly and clearly tell our kids: “You have the power to collapse my authority”. We tell them through our actions: “If you can be big enough, loud enough, and scary enough, I will collapse and you will gain control”. It’s a pattern that’s left you feeling powerless and your kids may seem to feel powerful, but inside they are silently terrified.
If your kids had the development and conscious awareness, they would tell you:
"this is terrifying, please hold me".
Kids need containing and holding to feel safe. They need to know where the boundaries are so they can feel held. They push you to the growth edge. Not because they are evil, but because that’s their job as kids, to find the edge. And if you’re ready to admit it: this is a major opportunity for you to GROW into the kind of secure leadership that you never received from your parents.
We’re in the middle of a parenting paradigm shift towards more gentle, positive, and conscious discipline structures. And for those healing from a harsher discipline legacy, this is beautiful medicine. But for those of us healing from permissive legacy with loose structures, a tendency to try to get it right, and terror of being “too harsh” or “not compassionate enough” or even “traumatizing our kids”, pushing more towards gentleness has created a deeper insecurity and lack of confidence.
FROM
The Fawning Mother
A mother who is pleasing, trying hard to keep the peace by overly attuning to everyone’s needs and wants, and trying to avoid the deep insecurity she feels inside.
TO
THE FIERCE MOTHER
A mother who is sturdy, clear, unapologetic and deeply empathetic at the same time, and knows how to lead and hold her kids with confidence and security.
The shift isn’t from soft to hard. Or from compassionate to uncaring.
The shift is from insecure leadership to secure leadership.
True peace in the home can’t be held by one person alone. True peace is about creating balance and harmony. When you work to reclaim your fierceness, you actually get to be stronger in your softness.
Compassion isn’t always soft. Fierceness is the missing tool in our motherhood toolkit. Fierceness is medicine for the overly compassionate because it brings more inner security and confidence. It brings forth a new belief:
"I've got you. I've got me. I've got us."
From there, the Fierce Mother leads the way towards healthier connection and relationship with her kids.
And that’s what we will explore in the Fierce Mother. And I’m not going to lie to you, this workshop won’t solve problems or be a quick fix. But it will be a trail head towards a clear path. An introduction to the work and potential that is possible for you and your family. And an opportunity to be seen and felt by someone who gets this journey deeply.
In this session, we are going to explore how to confidently and securely say NO and to set limits clearly, fiercely, and lovingly so that you are heard and respected as a mother authority inside your family system and so that your connection with your kids can deepen.
You’ll leave ready to experiment with a fierce no: say it once, root into ‘I’ve got this,’ and stay with your child’s big feelings without moving the line.
MEET YOUR GUIDE
Hi, I'm Marissa
I'm a Master Certified Parent Coach and Positive Discipline Educator as well as a trauma informed Somatic & Embodiment Facilitator for mothers.
And, I was the Fawning Mother.
As a first time mother to a strong willed son, I desperately turned towards gentle parenting to help me cultivate connection. The problem was that it unintentionally reinforced a permissive parenting legacy I was carrying. I had to confront my deepest insecurities and the ways of relating I had learned from my own upbringing.
After a lot of painful and hard lessons, I began to discover that the medicine for my family lived in the reclamation of my own fierceness. I had to learn how to say no and mean it. There was a rebalancing of power throughout my family, and the whole family system began to transform over time into one with a healthy, secure, and connected way of relating and living together. And I'm still on the journey and imagine I will be for the rest of my life.
